The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years
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- Create Date：2022-07-11 01:19:37
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Emily Oster
- ISBN：1984881779
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Summary
From the bestselling author of CRIBSHEET and EXPECTING BETTER， the next step in data driven parenting from economist Emily Oster
In The Family Firm， Brown professor of economics and mom of two Emily Oster offers a classic business school framework for data-driven parents to think more deliberately about the key issues of the elementary years: school， health， extracurricular activities， and more。
Unlike the hourly challenges of infant parenting， the big questions in this age come up less frequently。 But we live with the consequences of our decisions for much longer。 What's the right kind of school and at what age should a particular kid start？ How do you encourage a healthy diet？ Should kids play a sport and how seriously？ How do you think smartly about encouraging children's independence？ Along with these bigger questions， Oster investigates how to navigate the complexity of day-to-day family logistics。
Making these decisions is less about finding the specific answer and more about taking the right approach。 Parents of this age are often still working in baby mode， which is to say， under stress and on the fly。 That is a classic management problem， and Oster takes a page from her time as a business school professor at the University of Chicago to show us that thoughtful business process can help smooth out tough family decisions。
The Family Firm is a smart and winning guide to how to think clearly--and with less ambient stress--about the key decisions of the elementary school years。
We all know parenting is a full-time job， so maybe it's time we start treating it like one。
In The Family Firm， Brown professor of economics and mom of two Emily Oster offers a classic business school framework for data-driven parents to think more deliberately about the key issues of the elementary years: school， health， extracurricular activities， and more。
Unlike the hourly challenges of infant parenting， the big questions in this age come up less frequently。 But we live with the consequences of our decisions for much longer。 What's the right kind of school and at what age should a particular kid start？ How do you encourage a healthy diet？ Should kids play a sport and how seriously？ How do you think smartly about encouraging children's independence？ Along with these bigger questions， Oster investigates how to navigate the complexity of day-to-day family logistics。
Making these decisions is less about finding the specific answer and more about taking the right approach。 Parents of this age are often still working in baby mode， which is to say， under stress and on the fly。 That is a classic management problem， and Oster takes a page from her time as a business school professor at the University of Chicago to show us that thoughtful business process can help smooth out tough family decisions。
The Family Firm is a smart and winning guide to how to think clearly--and with less ambient stress--about the key decisions of the elementary school years。
We all know parenting is a full-time job， so maybe it's time we start treating it like one。
Reviews
Kate Kelly
，
Breathe in peace， breathe out guilt。 This book brings parenting in 2022 back into perspective and cuts the noise。 Highly recommend to my parent friends！
Sara
，
Emily Oster superfan here。 I appreciate the data to know what to actually worry about and to forget about "hearsay。" Emily Oster superfan here。 I appreciate the data to know what to actually worry about and to forget about "hearsay。" 。。。more
Lydia
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If I really want to get the most value out of this， I will probably have to reread in a few years。 Not much new in this book， but some good reminders about how systematic decision making is a really valuable tool。
Erika RS
，
In this book， Emily Oster is back with a discussion of how to combine data with modern parenting， this time focused on school aged children。 However， she starts with the acknowledgement that these years have even less clear answers than the pregnancy and infancy。 Thus， instead of looking to data as having the answers， we should look at data as one input into a broader decision making framework。This framework should start with outline the big picture for your family: what are the values and goals In this book， Emily Oster is back with a discussion of how to combine data with modern parenting， this time focused on school aged children。 However， she starts with the acknowledgement that these years have even less clear answers than the pregnancy and infancy。 Thus， instead of looking to data as having the answers， we should look at data as one input into a broader decision making framework。This framework should start with outline the big picture for your family: what are the values and goals that impact your family life？ What does this imply about the structure of your home an your life？ What are the practical constraints that also need to be taken into account？ This isn't just a statement of values。 The big picture should be detailed enough to help drive day-to-day decisions， including a growing repository of decisions that have been generalized into concrete principles。 These principles should be clear enough that one caretaker can make the decision on their own and have confidence another caretaker will not second guess them。Oster stresses the importance of trusting your children's other caretakers: for the day-to-day decisions， whoever a decision is delegated to should have full responsibility for making and executing the decision （this includes the children for decisions that have been delegated to them）。 If you find that another caretaker is making a decision you really disagree with， don't nag。 Instead， have a discussion of the big picture for the family and come to agreement on how this fits into the big picture。Some decisions will be larger。 For these， Oster describes a decision making process that helps families。Frame the question: This is often harder than it looks。 You have to go from a vague idea to a concrete question that can have a concrete answer。 Fact find: The data can't answer the question but it is certainly a critical input。 Collect data， evidence， and details about the choice itself but also logistics， risks， and benefits。 （E。g。， school A may be unequivocally better than school B， but it matters whether it adds 0 or 60 minutes to daily logistics）。 Final decision: Instead of revisiting the question repeatedly with partial information， collect the data and then set aside some time to make a decision。 Whether or not that decision meeting includes the child depends on their age and the decision。 Follow-up: Whatever the decision， revisit them after awhile and make sure you still agree with your choice。 If it was the wrong choice， it's better to find that out earlier rather than later。 Use this whichever way the decision went。 E。g。， checking whether or not you regret not starting soccer is just as important as checking whether or not you regret starting it。 Which of these two categories a choice is in can shift over time。 E。g。， maybe the first time it comes up， slumber parties on school nights require a family discussion。 After that first time， there may be a clear "no" or "yes， if" that turns this into a day-to-day decision。Don't forget to use tools to track the operations of your "family firm"。 Calendars， documents， TODO lists， and more can be valuable tools for helping implement decisions， both day-to-day and larger。 A modern family， especially one with multiple children and working parents， has a lot of logistics。 It will be much easier to live inline with your goals and to trust the other caretakers in your children's lives if you can delegate some of that load to tools。The book goes into detail about creating a family big picture。 Then the bulk of the text is spent going through data and case studies that are useful for applying the Four F's decision making process。 This includes common decisions such as choice of school， sleep， working parents， nutrition， parenting style， extracurriculars， emotional well being， screens， and the right age for a phone。Although it is a bit repetitive at times， overall the practical framework combined with the databased overviews makes this book is a good read for parents of school age children。 。。。more
Ilkay
，
Another great book filled with interesting data about parenting decisions。 While I won’t use the decision framework right away， I do think it’s a nice reminder to treat your child like a partner at times and actually discuss the plan at hand。 And have follow ups。 While it’s not surprising the data doesn’t have all the answers， it’s still a fascinating and reassuring read。
Hannah
，
I've been waiting for the opportunity to read Emily Oster's latest book。 There is significantly less data in this book than her previous books， because it is so hard to come to causal conclusions for children who differ so much。 The data that is present is not as prescriptive as the data for， say， eating raw fish in pregnancy or sleep training a four month-old。 Emily navigates this new world with courage and encouragement。 Her approach of family like a business is convincing and helps take me ou I've been waiting for the opportunity to read Emily Oster's latest book。 There is significantly less data in this book than her previous books， because it is so hard to come to causal conclusions for children who differ so much。 The data that is present is not as prescriptive as the data for， say， eating raw fish in pregnancy or sleep training a four month-old。 Emily navigates this new world with courage and encouragement。 Her approach of family like a business is convincing and helps take me out of some of the feelings so I can be more rational。 She presents the "four Fs" of decision-making: frame the question， fact-find， final decision， and follow up。 This is trial and error， folks。 Part of the exciting journey of parenthood。 I came away feeling a little more prepared for what lies ahead。 。。。more
Marla Calvert
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I was excited to read this book， as I loved Expecting Better。 The authors writing is clear and often humorous。 She does a great job of synthesizing research into very simple， digestible take-home messages。 I think what was intimately unsatisfying about this book is so much of parenting cannot be evidence-based。 There are typically not studies that ask the question you might have about your unique situation。 I got some general reinforcement about some questions， for example starting age for kinde I was excited to read this book， as I loved Expecting Better。 The authors writing is clear and often humorous。 She does a great job of synthesizing research into very simple， digestible take-home messages。 I think what was intimately unsatisfying about this book is so much of parenting cannot be evidence-based。 There are typically not studies that ask the question you might have about your unique situation。 I got some general reinforcement about some questions， for example starting age for kindergarten， when to give a child a first cell phone （12）， but ultimately would not recommend this book to parents hoping for compelling evidence based parenting guidance。 We are solidly in “expert opinion” territory here。 。。。more
Josh
，
This is very helpful stuff， and exactly as advertised。 It’s been fun to “grow” with an author （my wife read her book “Expecting Better” during pregnancy after an interview we heard with her made us say “that’s a person who approaches the world like we want to”， and now our kids are in the “school age” window covered here， via her own kids）。 Emily Oster’s commitment to following data where it leads， and looking at it critically is so helpful in sea of “shoulds” from other parents， most of whom ar This is very helpful stuff， and exactly as advertised。 It’s been fun to “grow” with an author （my wife read her book “Expecting Better” during pregnancy after an interview we heard with her made us say “that’s a person who approaches the world like we want to”， and now our kids are in the “school age” window covered here， via her own kids）。 Emily Oster’s commitment to following data where it leads， and looking at it critically is so helpful in sea of “shoulds” from other parents， most of whom are just doing what someone else told them without any kind of self-assessment。 Oster gives tools for how to frame family questions when the data is unavailable， inconclusive， or out of reach （which， with this age group， appears to be most of the time）。 And it’s helpful！ It’s also affirming to read some of the same struggles & successes you’re experiencing reflected back at you， along with the message “it’s almost never too late to change” underpinning everything along the way。 。。。more
Paula
，
“In conclusion:” there’s almost no concrete one way to do anything in parenting。 Which， personally， is reassuring。 There’s some data that shows tv/video games before bed effects your child’s （and your） ability to get good sleep， but beyond that it’s basically just to trust your gut and see what works for your family。 Don’t stretch yourself too thin because that has seen some negative side effects， but doing extra curriculars or a summer camp， etc， no real definitive pros or cons for much of anyt “In conclusion:” there’s almost no concrete one way to do anything in parenting。 Which， personally， is reassuring。 There’s some data that shows tv/video games before bed effects your child’s （and your） ability to get good sleep， but beyond that it’s basically just to trust your gut and see what works for your family。 Don’t stretch yourself too thin because that has seen some negative side effects， but doing extra curriculars or a summer camp， etc， no real definitive pros or cons for much of anything。 Pizza review: 6。4/10 。。。more
Olya
，
Maybe if you're a suburban American family of 2 adults and 2。5 kids， this book has something for you。 Otherwise， what a waste of a good economist。 Oster started out so strong with her first 2 books， I was expecting more than this thinly veiled self-help for the upper and upper middle class America。 Maybe if you're a suburban American family of 2 adults and 2。5 kids， this book has something for you。 Otherwise， what a waste of a good economist。 Oster started out so strong with her first 2 books， I was expecting more than this thinly veiled self-help for the upper and upper middle class America。 。。。more
Caleb Cherry
，
Don’t look to this book for direct advice on specific parenting questions —although there is some of that to be found — but instead for starting new or improving existing frameworks one might have on how to dispassionately arrive at the unique problems your family will face。
Jon
，
Central premise that you should take a business approach to child-rearing is contrived and probably wrong， but some of the best pop nonfic economic analysis of empirical data I've seen。 How many other authors are talking about local average treatment effects？！ Central premise that you should take a business approach to child-rearing is contrived and probably wrong， but some of the best pop nonfic economic analysis of empirical data I've seen。 How many other authors are talking about local average treatment effects？！ 。。。more
Emilia P
，
The older kids get it the harder it is to empirical data them into a good life。 So。。。this was rough。 But also an easy read。 So I'll take it。 The older kids get it the harder it is to empirical data them into a good life。 So。。。this was rough。 But also an easy read。 So I'll take it。 。。。more
Deena
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Finished a few weeks ago。 Was ok。 Some stuff was interesting but nothing too revelatory。
Katie Stratton
，
Well researched I guess but ultimately the message is that the research on these things I mixed， hard to actually test， and that you should know your kid and make your own choice。 Unsure whether it’s worth the read。
Misti
，
This book definitely gives parents a different perspective on decision making for their children。 I enjoyed how well-researched the author was on the different topics within the book。 My only disagreement with the author was to wait to give a child a phone at the age of 12。 Some children are not ready for a phone when they turn 12， so I think you need to consider the maturity level of your personal child before making these decisions。
Shivani Kailesh Patel
，
I loved this book because it aligns with how I like to run our family。 I love to write docs， use calendar invites， and have time set aside for important discussions。 Confirmation bias at play。 The data discussions aren’t relevant to me in the moment but running my family like a small business does make sense。
manaal
，
doesn't really give you any real advice， and the advice it does give is basically just common sense。 definitely works as a rough guide for what to think about， though， which is what it means to do， i guess。 mostly just interesting to think about what i wish MY parents could have done to better prepare me for first year of semi adulthood - forced me to eat more vegetables when i was younger， instilled better sense of self discipline， etc。 that one bit about relying on your mother to wake you up e doesn't really give you any real advice， and the advice it does give is basically just common sense。 definitely works as a rough guide for what to think about， though， which is what it means to do， i guess。 mostly just interesting to think about what i wish MY parents could have done to better prepare me for first year of semi adulthood - forced me to eat more vegetables when i was younger， instilled better sense of self discipline， etc。 that one bit about relying on your mother to wake you up every day。。。very on the nose。 i wish more of the book had been like the first section on the consequences of redshirting or greenshirting， though 。。。more
KB
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I wish there was more information about creating the family plan。
April
，
3。5 stars
Amanda
，
I think I inherently already think this way， although with fewer shared spreadsheets although definitely with a shared calendar， but I still enjoying thinking about how Emily Oster thinks。 And I'm glad to buy her books since I get so much good and reassuring advice from her newsletter。 She was a COVID godsend！ I think I inherently already think this way， although with fewer shared spreadsheets although definitely with a shared calendar， but I still enjoying thinking about how Emily Oster thinks。 And I'm glad to buy her books since I get so much good and reassuring advice from her newsletter。 She was a COVID godsend！ 。。。more
Caroline
，
I’m probably not going to become this organized， but I liked reading about it。
Christopher
，
Solid book for what it is。 Good review of the data and an interesting approach to family life。 Perhaps a bit frighteningly formulaic， but I can see how many would find comfort and， as the author put it， harmony there。
Lauren
，
3。5 I enjoy Emily Oster's work even though all three of her books are more or less "it's all good， don't listen to fear mongering and inflated data， the kids are alright。" This one needed a more unique approach since data on school-aged kids isn't as clear as for babies。 So， she suggests a lot of strategies for how to approach establishing your family's values。 Another reviewer said this book made her realize she's not as paranoid as a lot of parents and I agree。 80% of what was in here I alread 3。5 I enjoy Emily Oster's work even though all three of her books are more or less "it's all good， don't listen to fear mongering and inflated data， the kids are alright。" This one needed a more unique approach since data on school-aged kids isn't as clear as for babies。 So， she suggests a lot of strategies for how to approach establishing your family's values。 Another reviewer said this book made her realize she's not as paranoid as a lot of parents and I agree。 80% of what was in here I already have considered and have a general plan for。 That said， there were plenty of nuggets that made it worth reading。 I liked the section on sending kids to camp as well as the exploration of how to figure out how hard to go on activities in order to maintain the home life that you want。 Also enjoyed exploring "self-concept" and that she highlighted the importance of social skill learning。 。。。more
Joy
，
I found it immensely helpful - not the data as much as the processes for decision-making in a family。 She suggests coming up with a big picture mission statement based on shared values， and then living deliberately according to those values。 The worksheets she provides moves from this big picture to the details。
Brittani
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Good decision-making framework that I'll likely forget to use Good decision-making framework that I'll likely forget to use 。。。more
Brian Lindawson
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From the title and the first chapters of the book I was expecting the book to be focused on how to make family decisions the way a company would。 And there was some brief discussion of mission statements and guiding principles。 But the majority of the book was similar to her previous two: what doe the scientific literature have to say on common parenting questions。 Which is fine。 I liked her previous books。
Irina Jackson
，
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐#TheFamilyFirm by @profemilyoster - another great parenting read for me， although a few years ahead of where I'm at。Thankful to have read this now and be thinking about my #FamilyBigPicture and decision-making strategies ahead of time。 Also grateful to know that there are MANYYYYY people out there that surpass my level of neuroticism 😂😉 when it comes to all of this。 Some key notes:😴 sleep is so so so important。 🤱🏻 Being a stay at home mom/dad has minimal positive effects after a certain age ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐#TheFamilyFirm by @profemilyoster - another great parenting read for me， although a few years ahead of where I'm at。Thankful to have read this now and be thinking about my #FamilyBigPicture and decision-making strategies ahead of time。 Also grateful to know that there are MANYYYYY people out there that surpass my level of neuroticism 😂😉 when it comes to all of this。 Some key notes:😴 sleep is so so so important。 🤱🏻 Being a stay at home mom/dad has minimal positive effects after a certain age （whew！） so it will not be detrimental to your child to go back to work。🥕🌽🌶 repeated exposure to different food does not picky eaters make。 Also probably important to eat together as a family a few times a week， for whatever meal that may be。🧒🏼 be involved but not crazy involved。 Teach kids at a young age to be FULLY responsible for a task。 If you ask them if they remembered xyz， that's still scaffolding & they're not 100% there！🏫 charter/private/public - depends on the school atmosphere， policies， teacher feedback/experience， etc。 Kindergarten teachers matter A LOT。 Choose charter if public school is underperforming in your district。 Your child's happiness at school is IMPORTANT。 📖 Use phonics to teach reading。 Reading is a reward。 Model the behavior you want to see。 Let them choose what they want to read。 Audiobooks count。⚽️🥋⛸ some extracurriculars are good， but RELAX。 Great to give kids access to multiple social circles。 Revisit。🏕 if you can afford it， send em to sleepaway camp。🎮 screens are okay for leisure。 Think about opportunity cost。 Kids will have different reactions。 Set limits。 And never before bed。📱what type？ Set limits。 Maybe 12 is a good age。Then use this to make a family big picture of your missions/values/guiding principles。I haven't read her first book， #expectingbetter， but I imagine it's as good as this one & #cribsheet。 Overall， I have really enjoyed her approach to all these parenting nuances and things that come up in children's lives。 Thank you！ #bookreview #bookrecommendations #instabooks #booksforparents #parenting #parentingbooks #raisingchildren #bookstagram #bookish #libby 。。。more
LeeAnne
，
I really enjoyed this book。 The majority of it was content that has been done in other， more focused parenting books， better， but I enjoyed the authors tone “there is no perfect choice in most parenting decisions， but there are ones that align better or worse with your family values and hopes。”I love the framework of a family vision statement
Laurie
，